用英文怎么怼人？神回复，笑到停不下来！

中国哪里的姑娘最漂亮？

Where can you find the most beautiful girls in China?

微信朋友圈

Wechat Moments

问世上不会游泳的动物是？

What animals on earth can not swim?

媳妇和妈

Your wife and your mother.

为什么前女友还会一直关注我呢？

What could be the reason that my ex still follows me on social networks?

知道你过得不好我也就放心了

Knowing that you still mess everything up makes my day.

单身两年以上是什么体验？

How does it feel to be single for more than 2 years?

单身22年，不知道你说的是哪两年？

I've been single for 22 years. Which 2 years are you suggesting?

有什么赞扬让你比较尴尬？

Is there any compliment that makes you awkward?

人不可貌相啊。

We really cannot judge a book by its cover, can we?

妈，我能看电视吗？

Mom, can I watch the television?

当然可以啊，只要不打开就行

Of course you can, as long as it's turned off.

等我瘦了就回来找你

I'll come back for you when I get slim.

如果你不想见我，其实可以直说。

You can level with me if you don't want to see me.

注： level with  <口语>向（某人）说实话

被人追了怎么拒绝？

How do I successfully reject someone who is pursuing me?

立即卸妆

Remove your makeup, right now, right there.

你得揣摩出题人的意图。

You need to understand why they set this question in the first place.

他想我死。

They want me dead.

很高兴为你服务。

I'm glad to be at your service.

你高兴得太早了。

You'll find out you got glad too fast.

如何一个月减肥40斤？

By what means can I lose 20 kilograms in a month?

截肢

Amputation.

请给出一句很有内涵的诗句

Please name a thought-provoking sentence from a poem.

一懒众衫小。

Once lazy, all your clothes get smaller.

北冥有鱼，其名为鲲。

Once in the northern sea, there was a fish and people called it Kun.

众人食之，完。

And people ate it. The end.

你知道吗？你最终会变成你讨厌的人。

You know what? You eventually become someone you loathe.

借你吉言，我讨厌有钱人。

Thanks, I loathe people who are rich.

国庆去北京旅游有什么好建议吗？

Gonna be traveling in Beijing during the National Day vacation. Any suggestion?

别去。

Don't go.

打雷的时候关窗户有用吗？

Does it work to close the window when it's thundering outside?

没用的，我试过了。关了窗雷一样在打。

No, it won't. I've tried. It was still thundering outside after I closed the window.