托福独立写作真题范文 | 独立写作系列（十）

托福独立写作真题范文 | 独立写作系列（十）“TOEFL ITP”已经来了。托福写作不再是困扰了？如果，你还有时间，还是要坚持耕耘正儿八经的TOEFL iBT吖。毕竟，在这里，通过阮恩老师（章跃老师的江湖名号）破解，考试这点事儿就不那么难。

“ Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict.”

拿到题目，你会怎么破题？有哪些rules呢？

其实，如果狭义理解rules，写作内容会很局限，甚至一时半会儿想不起来什么成文的条款吧。

有些同学的想法很好，比如：催婚算不算一种rule？逼着念研究生算不算一种rule？那么，如果广义理解rules，rules可能是一些潜在的规则（不成文的，类似“潜规则”）、期待等，写作思路就一下子开拓了。

以上是想法碎片是源材料，我们先解决了内容方面的得分点。

接下来，我们通过梳理和组织这些零碎的想法来解决文脉和论证方面的得分点。并且，我们学会以合适的措辞方式去完整一个段落，解决语言方面的得分点。

于是，我们看一个段落：

行文的经典原则是“总—分”，于是我先总写一下： Age is a pivotal factor in many of such rules. ← 在总写的句子里，信息量不要大，就说一件事情，并且就是简单粗暴的下定论或做评价。比如，这个句子里，我就说age是关键，就一个简单的“主—系—表”结构的句子去下定论。

然后，我开始细化一下age作为关键因素出现在两个经典情况中：The typical cases are the most marriageable age range and the best ages for a proper job or the start of a career. ← 这个句子的信息量肯定比上一个句子的信息量大一些。但是，也只是说明了两个情况，却也没有特别具体的解释或者分析。在此处我们发现，为了突出重点信息，我们没有在这个依然是“主—系—表”结构的句子里设计复杂的语法结构。

然后，我们自然是分别讨论上一句中提及的两个case，也自然是先讨论先被提及的“婚姻”： In some cultures, there is a rule, unwritten yet often said, that young people should get married at a certain point, usually a rather early point, of life. ← 这一句话的目的就是把rule的内容说出来，所以，对信息量的控制需要特别注意：对这个rule的任何评价都不要提及，让这个句子的信息单纯。同时，我们注意，在介绍rule是什么的时候，我们用了同位语从句。

接下来，我们就要根据我们的立场来评价这个rule了： However, finding the permanent partner is never easy, and being rushed into such a relationship is so stressful that many young people have to make premature decisions. ← 这个句子的措辞，最重要的点在哪里？从信息量的控制的角度而言，在and那个词。连词and把两个关系密切（一种类似因果关系的密切联系）的简单句联系起来。

然后，我们进一步补充： It is even more pitiful that young people often have to persuade themselves that ending up with spending the rest of life in a not-so-satisfactory marriage may not be perfectly pleasant but certainly feels better than being discriminated under the social norm. ← 这是一个长句。为什么我们会用一个长句？因为如果我们觉得个点快要结束了，我们就会有意识的减少句子的数量来加快信息节奏，不然，读者可能会误解成“看来还要慢慢展开呢”。

接下来，是age相关的另一个点：Society also applies the rule that a young individual has to do something at a prescribed age to finding a proper destination as the individual graduates from college. Many societies therefore also rush their young people to be productive members of the community, asking them to generate value. For example, in some countries, taking a gap year is hardly acceptable. The time would otherwise be for young people to put their head together and identify their desires and pursuits; it is however considered idling time away. Isn’t it too much to ask young individuals to soon, in their early twenties, find what their future holds and to well plan the next thirty or forty years of the adulthood? ← 我们在这里不展开分析。下回分解中，我们会细致展开解释。

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