当前位置:首页 托福备考 托福写作改写技巧实例:提高词句水平必须掌握这些方法
发布时间:2020-12-10 关键词:
摘要:托福写作提升用词质量水平改写实例分析
托福写作提升用词质量水平改写实例分析
1.Original:We know that sometimes success is measured by how much money you earn.
Revised:It does not surprise us to discover that sometimes success is measured in terms of the money you earn.
点评:know是非常初级的词汇,作文中出现I believe that,I know that这样的表达只能体现考生写作技巧的稚嫩,用It does not surprise us to discover that替换We know that并没有改变原句的含义,却使全句顿时增添了亮点。
2.Original:We all know that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
Revised:It goes without saying that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
托福写作点评:同上例一样,know这样的初级词汇应避免在作文中使用,It goes without saying that是一个固定结构,意思是"是不言而喻的",常在作文中用来引经据典或表明一个尽人皆知的道理,类似的表达还有:
An old saying goes that
Proverb goes that
It is universally acknowledged that
It is generally accepted that
3.Original:Some other people think that people should read extensively.
Revised:Another position says that people should read extensively.
点评:同know一样,think也应该尽量避免使用,修改后的句子中是用Another position says that代替think提出另一种观点,也可以用hold a point of view,hold the opinion这样的短语替换。
4.Original:The unexpected win of the match give us confidence.
Revised:The unexpected win of the match boost our confidence.
点评:give也属于英语中最初级、最基本的词汇,也是中国学生最喜欢在托福独立写作中应用的词。这个词只表示"给,给予"这个动作,不涉及动作的性质和状态,若表示增添信心,增强士气,比较地道的说法是用boost confidence/morale,如:The change of management has boosted morale throughout the company. 管理模式的改变使整个公司上下士气倍受鼓舞。
5.Original:The use of drugs has increased greatly in the last ten years.
Revised:The use of drugs has increased significantly in the last ten years.
点评:greatly是一般用语,表示程度高,"很,非常",使用相当普遍而没有新意,在托福独立写作中应尽量避免使用这些通俗而又陈旧的词汇,应换用一些更加正式,更有说服力的词语,例如significantly表示达到了非常重要的或可观的程度,"重大的,可观的",能够具体说明药品使用方面,增长幅度巨大。significantly还可以替换成considerably,tremendously等,同样具有不错的表达效果。
相信通过上面的例句分析,大家对托福写作词汇中的低级词汇都有了一定程度的了解,建议大家在托福作文备考时,还是要积累生活实例、多积累素材、经典句型等,不要只是一种表述方式,一个单词来回换。通过丰富而多样化的用词提升文章质量,这样你的作文才能得到更高的评价。
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